The Man of the Hour

Self satisfied and loud, the Man in the Yellow Shirt sits at my dinner table every night with new topics and discussions that causes the party to ponder while they sleep, on the thoughts that were shared during that night's meaty meal.

With his outrageously confident personality and small dinosaur like tooth, he commands our attention with quips like those that you would hear on an esoteric cable channel.

To conclude the text, throughout this blogs the discussions and thoughts that roll through this man's somewhat small brain and off his little icky tongue will be revealed and shared with the people of the internet.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

April 6, 2010

So in our family we have this tradition; every time we have chicken, green veggies, mashed potato's and gravy we reconstruct a part of the Lord of the Rings movies. Last night while no one participated in the construction of the food we met stages number 2 and 4. It is a rare occasion that all 5 of the stages will be shared at the dinner table. Oh those stages...

Let me tell you about the 5 stages of eating. When at the dinner table there is a rule: you eat what is on your plate. If you don't you don't leave the dinner table and you can sit there all night and miss the new episode of LOST, which was quite confusing last night. The Man in the Yellow Shirt eats a lot of junk food and has snacks between each meal and so on and so forth, so we tend to give him food to eat. (Sometimes if he leaves the table or looks away The Man Who Drinks Red Wine will add more to his plate). The stages start a few minutes after dinner...

Stage 1: "I don't like a lot of my food on my plate at one time. I will grab some more later."
Stage 2: "Don't worry I will eat all the food on my plate I am just saving my favorite part for last."
Stage 3: "I don't like that part it's icky and makes me feel bad."
Stage 4: "I am letting my food digest so that I can eat some more."
Stage 5: "I'm not hungry anymore and can't keep eating other wise I am going to be sick...when's desert?"

And there you have it. The 5 famous stages of eating from The Man in the Yellow Shirt. Let me tell you he had us the first couple of times but after a while we became suspicious because he would just go and eat junk after dinner.

In conclusion: if you have a child or sibling who does something like this, chances are they're getting your goat.

Monday, April 5, 2010

April 5, 2010

Now for some funny stuff.

The other day the Man in the Yellow Shirt was talking to the Woman in Black. She was saying how she felt like she needed to lose weight, to which the Man in the Yellow Shirt responded with:

"Well, what you need to do is eat three good meals a day with a snack between each one."

[confusing stare]

"I mean, look at me!"

In conclusion: obviously he has not had a proper health, diet and nutrition class.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

April 4, 2010

Hoping that the Easter holidays are treating you all well...

The Man in the Yellow Shirt shared with us today the proper way of eating the rib of the lamb. (Are you suppose to eat lamb on Easter?). Anyways, sitting there with the zeti pasta on my plate with the rib of a lamb laying right next to it, I sat and watched as the Man in the Yellow Shirt pick out the pricice piece of lamb that he wanted. "NO!" he could not have on with any fat, "It tastes bad," which it really does, and "NO!" it can't be a small one because there is more fat on those.

In conclusion: pick the piece of lamb that is large and has no fat.

When eating the lamb check for fat because you never know where it will be hiding. Then eat the "good part," its the part of the meat where you see the most meat, you know the place where the grill lines are. After eating that part there is really no more to it. Put it back on the plate from which it came and move to the next one. (This is usually where Stage 3 comes in).

In conclusion: there is only one good part of the meat and no it is not the one closest to the bone, don't let your parents fool you, and when you are done leave some meat on the bones for the dog because he is on a diet and isn't getting all of the dog food he needs.

The proper way of sitting at the dinner table and manners mean nothing to the Man in the Yellow Shirt. He sits with he feet placed under his bottom and the lower part of his arms applying a force on the top of the table. He also insists on using a smaller fork than everyone else because his mouth is too small for the larger ones. (BS). He has a large mouth...I know.

In conclusion: don't bother to argue because he is stubborn and let him set the table because its to much work to try and find the small fork and place it where he is going to sit that night.

The one sad part of dinner was not being able to go through the 5 Stages Of Eating. These are the usual steps that come and take part at dinner, to be honest without them there would probably not be a blog. We will be seeing those a lot, but I shall save them for another day.

As dinner came to an end tonight the main routine, as every night, was the clearing of the dish and then the walk with his blanket to the T.V. room where he would no doubt sit back and watch the latest episode of "BUG" (A.K.A Dog the Bounty Hunter).

In conclusion: yes he is lazy and yes tonight was boring but be ready for something good because I didn't start this blog for nothing...